Not Just an Evite

February 6, 2010 at 7:18 pm (Uncategorized)

By popular demand, I’m posting my 30th birthday invitation.  Enjoy!
Yo Fly Girls and Guys,

Remember when Bush was cool, and green day had nothing to do with the environment? When Ice-T was a “cop killer” and not a cop?

I do.

Despite all my rage, I will I bid a bittersweet farewell to my twenties.  But, before the end of my extended adolescence give me one more chance to rewind the clock and relive my suburban, not really angst-filled, around the way girl teen years… Thanks for nuthin’ Dr. Zizmor!*

So, before my reality bites, and now that it’s been over a decade, let’s make the ’90s cool again!

Help me answer burning questions like:

Why was My So-Called Life tragically cancelled?
Why did Screech think he had a chance with Lisa?
What IS the meaning of the word is?
Why didn’t the press comment on the poor fuel efficiency standards of disastrous carbon emitting white broncos?
Who ever won in the end: East coast or West coast?
What was this STP song about anyway?

So, I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really really want: the Roger Rabbit and the Mashed Potato and the Macarena.  I want to go back in time.  For one birthday night only, don’t dis me and just come as you are bring significant others or just a friend and let me pretend I’m a teenager again.

Slide into my friend‘s apartment.

Cool kids never have the time: 9pm and stay for however long you want to linger until you kick it, or the neighbors complain about our cheesy taste.

Dress code:
So I cry, and I pray, and I beg, for you to dress the part:
Dust off the mary janes, doc martins, flannels, backwards hats and baggie pants, scruchies, Hypercolor Ts, one-strap overalls, and vests. Don’t even bother washing your hair.  Or come as your favorite 90s character/personality.

If there is a problem, yo I solve itLeave a message and I’ll call you back.

I can’t promise citrusy disco lemonade, but there will be some sipping on gin and juice, champagne, and a lot of old school music to dance to. I’m gonna make you sweat till ya bleed! You’ll be the bong in this reggae song. etc.

Some of you might be jealous that my teenage years were during such an amazing, plate-shifting period for music–no, it’s not ironic.  So help me help you get into the spirit of your youth and believe me it will be an unbelievable night!

See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!

PS It’s my party and I’ll DJ if I want to, but I am taking essential ’90s song requests…beep me. I’m outta hea…

*intended for New York tri-state area audience.


1 Comment

  1. Not Just an Evite, Part II « ChaseAndBeenChased's Blog said,

    […] 2, 2010 at 2:45 pm (Uncategorized) In an earlier post, I shared my ridiculous and time-consuming 90s birthday party invite.  This new masterpiece below […]

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