Visiting My Ex-boyfriend

May 2, 2010 at 11:43 pm (Uncategorized)

As the Bolt Bus rolled out of the Lincoln Tunnel, my eyes naturally turned upward.

He’s so big.

Has New York been working out?

I know he’s seeing other people…last I heard about eight million or so.  But, he still flirts with me when I’m in town.  He’s all like, pause, “remember that time in ’04 after a great night of dancing in the East Village, you hailed a cab back to Queens and literally sat on an unopened box of expensive gourmet Belgian chocolates?  That was fun.  You were so incredulous and hesitant to take the box knowing that someone forgot them, but I, New York City, gave it to you! (hehe)”

It was one of the best little gifts he ever gave me.

We see each other about once a month or so now–probably not the most healthy thing since I’m trying to make a relationship work with my new guy, DC.  I shouldn’t be seeing the rain trickle down his skyscrapers to his glistening sidewalks or his $1.50 slices.  The memories hurt sometimes.  DC has his moments, don’t get me wrong, but he’s been verbally abusive lately.  He’s so cliquish and won’t let me get a new job!  Just trying to get away from him on a Friday night is an arduous process of sitting through beltway traffic.  The nagging never stops.  While New York was definitely not a perfect gentleman, I somehow forgave his indiscretions more easily.  Dare I say it–the worst thing you can tell a lover–DC is… nice.

I know New York has changed, and I have too.  Old restaurants, shops, and cafes we once shared together have now closed.  I don’t know where the newest fads and hot spots are.  When we catch up, it’s a mixture of intimate knowledge and being out of the loop.  I know the basics, how’s your family, how’s so-and-so, how to get to the West side via subway, which entrance to use at Penn Station, but I don’t really know what’s going on in his life today.  I get news bits from our mutual friends and the metro section of the paper, but it’s not the same.  Actually, the other day DC was like, “Can you please read the Post on weekends at least? Hello! You won’t even get a bank account here. What, you don’t trust me with your money? You have commitment issues!”

New York and I had something real.  New York said it’s okay to want the best foreign foods and a cheap price at any time of the night.  He said that anyone could start over when things don’t work out.  That it was okay to go on dates with yourself.  That you could find a neighborhood that fits your style and paycheck and have a winning baseball team.  He said it was okay to be a Zoroastrian girl from a Masonic family on Jewish Long Island and, most importantly, not be B&T. He said this without batting an eye, because it was true.

New York and I will always have a relationship.  Maybe one day we’ll date again, but I know you can never really go back.  He saved me after months of living in Sahab where I was starved for cosmopolitan stimulation.  He was there for me when my senses needed him most, and I’ll never forget that.

Right now, I’m dedicated to working on my relationship with DC. I know I’ve had a bad attitude in the past and my heart was closed.  I want to make things work.  I really believe he has a lot to offer if he would just loosen his tie, pick up my resume, and think outside the district box.

Thank God for my District friends who make the relationship bearable and even, gasp, fun.



  1. Frank said,

    Indeed, New York has been working out — and so have we. We’re on the Six-Weeks-to-Fire-Island work-out regime and diet! 🙂

  2. Becca said,

    I will NEVER forget the night of those chocolates! “When God closes the door on love, he opens the window to chocolates in your taxi…”

    I still – STILL! – live here and even I am nostalgic sometimes for the heydays of 2004. It’s not the same NYC at all. Maybe because you’re not here?

    I wonder if, to continue your metaphor, it’s the “life partner” vs. “boyfriend” phenomenon. We’re too comfortable now. In 2004, NYC and I were still dating, and he showed me all the glitz and glamor and nights dancing on tables he had to offer. Now he’s my partner for life, and he’d rather take me to a nice restaurant and then go out with a few friends, saving the dancing and sparkle for special occasions.

    In Forest Hills. Because even Astoria is too hip to be affordable now.


  3. Becca said,

    (also, i just love love love this post. forgot to mention that.)

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